Modeling Perseverance?
Taking Notes on the Home Front
(I originally wrote this post to parents of school age children. In its broader application, it’s relevant to every facet of family life where parents and grandparents impact the lives of young adults.)
“See, I have refined you, though not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction” (Isaiah 48:10). Isaiah, in addressing the nation of Israel here, is speaking to the building of spiritual perseverance and character. But Isaiah’s message should not be lost in the context of today’s world.
As parents, we should be very intentional about leading our kids into a relationship with Christ and his redemptive work. However, there’s also another vitally important “shaping” point in their lives that we need to safeguard. That’s how we as parents (or grandparents) model perseverance in the face of adversity and trials in our families . . . that is, our visible response to God’s refining fire in our lives. That sets the table for our kids’ response to pain, affliction, and disappointment in their formative years.
Does honoring God and modeling perseverance guarantee that our children will respond in kind? Unfortunately it does not; they too exercise free choice. But how Mom and Dad endure, encourage, talk-through, pray, and respond to a crisis, indelibly imprints the minds of their children. Take note . . . our kids are always taking notes.
Think about it . . . if we as parents embrace a victim mentality, there’s a good chance our children will too. Our response may also become part of our parental legacy! Never doubt that a victim mentality is debilitating. It poisons the mind, contributes to learned helplessness, and scuttles initiative. “Victims” cease to be life learners and they struggle to embrace life change. Let’s be teaching our kids what Jesus teaches us, “In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).
In modeling perseverance, we should never abandon the foundational truth that we serve a God whom we can trust . . . and who loves us so passionately that he’s willing to wound us deeply in order to bring about life change in us . . . or in someone else. Sometimes, refining fire and smoke temporarily blinds us and we can’t see God’s immediate purposes. But, never doubt that he can redeem every desperate circumstance this side of eternity. And if he chooses not to here, he surely will on the other side.
Let’s recognize that our life legacy—and that of our children—may very well be defined by how we model perseverance in the storms of life. Such was the case for Job who in the fire of his trials said, “Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him . . .” (Job 13:15). Let’s also remember that as we embrace the sovereignty of God in our trials—and those in our children’s lives—we honor God on this broken planet and point them to “the [eternal] city that is to come” (see Hebrews 13:14).
How effectively do you model perseverance in your family trials? What notes are your family members recording? Here are a few points to ponder when answering those questions.
Do you offer a “sacrifice of praise” in the crucible of your family’s pain, affirming that God is ultimately sovereign and trustworthy in all circumstances?
In John 6:68, Simon Peter’s response to Jesus was, “Lord, to whom [else] shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” How do you model Peter’s response to your family? Who do you turn to?
Where is God using “chaos” to teach you your need for Jesus. Might you need to rethink any messaging that contributes to a victim mentality?
Tom
”For I am the LORD, your God who takes hold of you by your right hand and says to you, ‘Do not fear, I will help you.’” (Isaiah 41:13)
Note: “Metamorphyx Insights” are taken from Metamorphyx: Embracing Life Experience, Life Change, and Life Purpose. Each represents a significant learning or application on your personal Metamorphyx Journey. Find Metamorphyx on Amazon, B&N, or Apple iTunes.
